Hold me, oppo.

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa)
07/01/2014 at 01:11 • Filed to: None

Two of my best friends are joking around and teasing me about my virginity, and a 14 year old girl is trying to tell me how to get laid.

I've spent the past 3 weeks feverishly working on getting a job, working on my car, and learning guitar songs so that I could avoid my depressive tendencies when I think about relationships. Now I'm being told by a 14 year old how to get laid and two of my good friends who knew each other for about 4 hours after I introduced them apparently banged while I wasn't looking, which bothers me for some reason.

And now they're also telling me that I should "just mingle" and the "right girl will come along eventually" and "you just need to be smooth" or "just need to be this" or "just need to be that" and it's all fucking bullshit because I've been through 12 relationships in 4 years none lasting longer than two or three weeks and I'm so fucking burnt out. Even more so when older people I hang out with tell me how great their high school years were and how nothing compares to high school sex and lbah blah blah high school relationships are so intense and free because you have nothing to worry about and now here I am, a freshly-minted adult that now has to worry about getting a job, setting up college, not wasting thousands of dollars and somehow getting an engineering degree despite sucking SHIT at mathematics (never gotten higher than a C in a math class) while minoring in music all under the overview of a completely perfect works-out-every-day never-got-a-B-in-school graduated-with-honors valedictorian successful father.

Shitfucking god damn.

If you made it through all this, have another obscure sports car I like.

DISCUSSION (81)

PheeNoIVI > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:15

Trust me, you will be much better off than them if you focus in yourself, what you enjoy, and education. Everything else will come with time. You have plenty of time for that other stuff. Enjoy things for yourself while you can

Vi517, JDX Racing > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:16

"Sometimes your friends and family aren't there for you. Your car always is."

Words to live by. Your life is more important than others. Get everything straight and stable, then worry about other people.

TheJWT > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:17

The only advice I can give you is that people who say that High School is the best time of their lives have pretty fucking boring lives. The right girl will come eventually, and that really is the truth.

Diesel > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:17

It gets better, the key is to be happy with yourself first. Otherwise, you come off as needy and that will run off all the girls. You gotta do you, be confident and you will become insatiable to the ladies.

/drops mic

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:17

Im sorry man.

As a 16 y.o. who is also still one, I know your feeling of being mocked and made fun of and hearing young teens and even tweens talking about it.

Now I'm not the religious kind who thinks to wait until marriage but I also think that you shouldnt do it until you can handle the consequences.

Also that sucks about your friends

Ive never been there so I cannot help with that. Some people are just horny and rather wreckless.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:18

The older people you hang out with sound like fucking Idiots. Kids shouldn't even be having sex in highschool. I didn't and i'm totally normal, married, and STD, and accidental baby free.

Vicente Esteve > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:18

Just hang on there man. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a time for everything. I give you this:

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:19

Ugh, I feel for you.

For what it's worth, it probably seems like you have to sort it all out absolutely right now , but you don't. Especially the relationship stuff. That probably doesn't make you feel better right now, but I think it's true.

Give yourself a break.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > TheJWT
07/01/2014 at 01:21

The only advice I can give you is that people who say that High School is the best time of their lives have pretty fucking boring lives.

This.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:23

Ignore them.

My friends always give me shit about how my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and haven't done to do yet, I just ignore what they say, or kindly tell them to fuck off. It's none of their goddamn business what you do and don't do.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Vicente Esteve
07/01/2014 at 01:25

That video is what I've aspired to and single-handedly is what made me want to mod my car. I still dunno what he means by "racing tranny" unless it's just the HD version of what I have with slightly shorter gearing.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Diesel
07/01/2014 at 01:27

I dunno how to be happy with myself. Either my education failures, my physical shortcomings or my romantic failures keep niggling around in my selfconscious and I can't figure out how to make them shut the hell up. Most of the time I look in the mirror and all I see is: nose too big, glasses are ugly, why the fuck can't I smile without looking like a creeper, oh look more zits, this curly hair makes me look like a jew (people make fun of this all the time, even when I get it cut), oh dear god what is going on with my upper lip, etc.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:27

Yeah high school was pretty much the worst years ever. I have heard nothing but bad things about high school relationships. I was told(I had no luck with the ladies either)that they were stupid and shallow, so I assume you weren't missing out.

Plus I know dem feels about grades. I am shit in biology, in college when I was still doing pharmacy I had to take a microbiology course. Failed it. I hated pharmacy so I switched to engineering, and retook the class and got a C-. Either way, my dad is always telling me how he always got A's. Blah, yeah I get it, I suck. Whatever. Either way, do what you gotta do and don't let the high and might try and crush!

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:28

Here's what I think. High school relationships are a lot of fun. They're great! but now that you're out of high school, I'd focus on college first, and relationships second. I've had 3 relationships over the last year, including my current one, and all have lasted at least 1.5 months.

And who cares if you're not the best at math? I barely got B's both semmesters in Alg 2 honors, and I want to go in to engineering as well! if you work hard enough, you'll do fine!

Just don't forget to have fun as well! As for the people pushing you to date someone? ignore them!

^This advice is provided by a 15 YO sophomore going in to Junior year

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Vi517, JDX Racing
07/01/2014 at 01:28

'cept my dad technically owns my car and I can't afford to really do anything to it other than very basic mods. Which is annoying.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > PheeNoIVI
07/01/2014 at 01:29

Hah. Education. I'm basically grade-A boned there.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/01/2014 at 01:30

Dating for 2.5 years and not doing it sounds fine to me. I'd love any kind of relationship. I just crave companionship which is why it bugs me so much when it seems like every time I get a group of friends together they end up fucking and in relationships with each other and ignoring me.

TheStraightSixKid > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:30

Holy fucking shit man you just put all my same feelings in to two paragraphs. I can tell you though you are lucky are the i have ever been. I have never had a girlfriend Ever. Also i'm not sure how old you are (i'm 19) but one thing you can do that i have realized that helps a lot at my age group is just not giving a SUPER FLYING FUCK what people think. For example i just finished my first year of community college. One day i was sitting around a table with some friends when Tom (a fake name) said "Who has had sex before raise your hand. All the of people around the table raised their hands expect me and one other guy. Also for added kick the girl i liked had her hand up :). I did not let it upset me at all because i just LOOKED ON THE BRIGHT SIDE of my problem. That helped me to not GIVE A SUPER FLYING FUCK I hope this helped you in anyway.

PheeNoIVI > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:30

Haha I never tried in HS. But find something you love. And do that. Education isn't always required.

ly2v8-Brian > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:31

I know what you're saying. The relationship stuff I'm not going to touch because I certainly am clueless and can not help (I'm the shy and quiet type so building meaningful relationships has proven difficult). With school though I can offer advice. If you feel unsure don't charge into the university scene. Got to a community college. If you're grades aren't good then stop. Get a blue collar 9-5. I did that (sort of, it is a long tale), I came to the realization that I was busting my ass for a dead-end job, why cant I do that in school? So (editing stuff out so I don't tell my whole life story here) I went back to school. I applied myself with the same work ethic and I got A's and B's this semester.

Vicente Esteve > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:31

I have no clue either. For 2 slides he coulve written in Chinese and I would understand the same. Still though, I think what you are doing to your car is pretty cool, keep it up, and forget about people that make you miserable.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > YSI-what can brown do for you
07/01/2014 at 01:32

Yeah all I do is get shit from my dad about how lazy I am. I'm going for a major in computer engineering because I love robotics and such, and computers have been my life, but I passed Honors PreCalc by 0.1%, and got a D in Algebra II so I'm pretty certain I'll get overwhelmed by college math classes.

Anon > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:33

Let me give you a bit of advice as someone who lost their virginity to someone they didn't really care too much about. First off sex isn't the most mind blowing thing on this planet. Yes it's pretty great. However it's only pretty great if it's someone you really love and care about. Otherwise it's an awkward sweaty mess. So here's my advice. Don't worry about it. If you have sex with someone, great! If you don't then it's fine nothing is going to magically change about you after you have sex. You won't be any more of a man or be any more attractive.

Also if you want to be an engineer you can do it! You're the result of billions of years of evolution. If you want to understand a math problem you can do it! The minute you tell yourself that you're shit at something, you've already given up. It will be hard and frustrating! You might want to kick a mathlete in the face! You might have to spend long nights yelling at a piece of paper! But you CAN do it!

Diesel > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:33

Look, we are who we are. You have to accept yourself first. You are you own harshest critic. Own your life and be yourself, don't doubt or patronize yourself. There is a match for everyone. If you think you have things to work on that you can fix, do it. Make it a goal to destroy your haters, including your self doubt. Trust me, we make our own happiness.

GeorgeyBoy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:34

Just appreciate what you have and look at the bigger picture. I forget that sometimes.

thebigbossyboss > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
07/01/2014 at 01:35

Indeed.

thebigbossyboss > TheJWT
07/01/2014 at 01:36

Indeed.

AM3R > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:36

my brother is also about to start studying computer engineering. Also pretty bad at math, he's actually taking a placement test to place into calculus tomorrow morning. He's great at programming and all the computer stuff, but math isn't his strong suite.

Don't worry man, you aren't the only one facing grade trouble! I know those feels all too well. In freshmen year I failed out of my honors math class within the first semester. My record high was a 54% I think.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:37

That's why I keep my male and female friends far away from each other and never introduce them. That way that kind of stuff doesn't happen.

The right relationship will come, it's all a big case of trial and error, the dating game.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:38

Lemme share some personal experience. I never really cared about having a girlfriend and never had one till recently, I used to pour all of my energy into my art, school, other interests. and that was fine. then my best friend set me up with one of her friends and I couldnt be happier. If you dont prioritize relationships, a good one is bound to stumble upon you. And sex should not be the main goal of having a girlfriend, I am still a virgin and I am perfectly fine with that, It'll happen when it happens. Just focus on other things and youll be okay

ly2v8-Brian > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:40

Not necessarily. You need to examine why you did poorly. Did you not do the assignments? Do you struggle with tests? Or maybe, did you feel engaged in the class?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Vi517, JDX Racing
07/01/2014 at 01:41

After I moved to Florida, I had my truck and my dog. Sounds like a country song, but it's true. Neither of them have really let me down(except the truck once), and they are always there to put a smile on my face. That's how I maintained my sanity, what's left at least.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:41

GO TO OFFICE HOURS! I can't believe I never did. Once I started going I really started to do well in the classes. Calc 1 isn't that hard honestly! It is a bunch of rules you need to recognize. The Internet really helps when professors suck at explaining. You can do it! I believe in you! I got through electrophysics(or whatever it is called) with help from the Internet!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
07/01/2014 at 01:41

Shit, I thought that maybe people of opposing genders could just be friends. I guess that only applies to me or some shit.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > ly2v8-Brian
07/01/2014 at 01:43

I have an extraordinarily hard time getting motivated, I am super easily distracted, and math doesn't "come" to me. I have an insanely difficult time remembering numbers/formulae, and mental math is next to impossible even if it's just subtracting 1123 from 98, I've got to write it down.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:45

Maybe, but all my friends seem to be hormone crazy teens who would fuck anything with a pulse.

thebigbossyboss > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:46

I got +/- 10 years on you son. Dude. Don't worry about highschool "relationships". Seriously, I wouldn't worry AT ALL about that shit. People who tell you highschool was the best time in their lives see high school graduation as their greatest achievement. Let me tell you, you can achieve a lot more than just that!

Get your grades, get your job, figure out a decent plan to start your life in a field you enjoy. Remember, you can always change fields, just make sure you give your field a true shot (a few years) before you quit.

As for me....

I keep in touch with three people from my high school at this point. I had basically one friend I went to school with, that I did things with.

I had exactly zero relationships in highschool, I barely had any friends, I worked at A & W every friday and saturday night. Now I am happily engaged to be married, graduated University, and work a pretty kickass job.

What does this tell you? The quality of your highschool relationships has no bearing on the quality of your future life!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:46

I am in the same boat. Still a virgin. I had a shitty high school career, mostly due to my crazy religious parents. I didn't get to go off to college, because when I graduated I was 17 and my parents wouldn't let me. So then they moved me to Florida, the state of nothing to do. When I finally had a chance to leave, I did, and my asthma sent my fat ass straight back "home" to Florida. I have had my chances to lose it, but I always have an awkward way to blow it(whether it's me or a drunk friend intervenes, long story). Now I live somewhere, where I know pretty much no one. So it's just me, my truck, no direction in life, and my lackluster social skills wasting time.

sebdel > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:49

High school sucks, It was fun but college/university (whatever comes after high school, I don't know how your education system works) was better, and after that working and living alone was better and now married is even better. I look back and I see it was fun, but I wouldn't go back, not for a day. What I'm saying is: it gets better.

ly2v8-Brian > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 01:52

I have read the other posts and you have been getting wonderful advice. Bookmark this page. These are tough times of your life, but when you find your motivation they will turn around. I'm in school for Mechanical Engineering. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > sebdel
07/01/2014 at 01:58

Not when you're stuck living with an overbearing parent throughout University. I doubt that will make things much better. I'm already catching shit because I buggered up registration slightly.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > ly2v8-Brian
07/01/2014 at 01:59

For sure. There is an amazing range of experiences between the people here on Oppo. It's pretty fantastic.

Textured Soy Protein > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:12

Let me drill this into your head kid: you're going to college. COLLEGE. COLLEGE .

What's great about college is nobody knows who the hell you are. You can shed all of the bullshit from high school and get a fresh start.

Don't worry about all the unsuccessful "relationships" you've had. You've had zero relationships. Not 12. Holding hands and making out in the hallway between math and history class isn't a relationship.

College is the time when you:

1. Do shit that's going to get you a job. Even though this is the least fun part of college, you gotta take care of it, or else it's all a giant fucking waste of money.

2. Make a bunch of friends who at the very least will be semi-entertaining when you do stupid college shit, and maybe you even feel like talking to them after graduation.

3. Do the aforementioned stupid college shit. Get drunk, smoke pot, chase after random girls. Cause mayhem in all of its forms as long as you're not breaking any particularly important laws that will cause you to have a criminal record. Steal trays from the dining hall and go sledding down steep hills with randomly placed light posts on them. Unless you're in Florida. Don't drink and drive.

The key to achieving #2 and #3 is to not worry so damn much about shit. If you worry so much about what are the magic words you need to say to some random ass girl at a party to make her really like you oh so much, shit just won't happen.

You know why those 2 friends of yours who just met snuck off and fucked while you turned your back? Because they didn't give a fuck. One of them probably said "hey show me your boobs haha that'd be fun right?" and the other was like "sure!"

At college there will be literally thousands of girls ready and willing to make bad decisions with you. Don't give a fuck about if you get into a relationship with them. It's not rocket surgery.

Now as for all this "I don't know how people who just met 4 hours ago are now at this very moment having sex while I'm in the other room sulking and posting on oppo" stuff, allow me to offer some advice.

All you have to do is see some hot girl, decide to walk up to her, say hi and something else halfway witty, be generally non-creepy, and ask if she wants to hang out sometime. This can happen literally ANYWHERE. Your dorm. Class. On the way from your dorm to class. At the grocery store in the produce aisle buying cilantro ("hey baby, nice cilantro," is not an acceptable greeting). Anywhere. Text her to make some plans. Go to a party. There's always a party somewhere. Hang out. Be mildly entertaining. Just talk about any old shit.

Let her talk more than you talk, because people like being given the opportunity to talk. 9 times out of 10 if you let someone else talk for 75% of the conversation that person will be like "that guy's fun to talk to, I like him." I just made up that number completely pulled out of my ass.

Ask if she wants to leave the party and go somewhere else. If you're lucky she'll suggest that somewhere else is her apartment. If she just wants to go home, offer to walk her there. Make a move. Don't expect to hop into bed immediately every time. But the opportunity will probably present itself.

If you offer to head to your place to smoke some great weed you just got from a guy from Minnesota named Paul who smells a bit too much like nag champa and has given himself the nickname Paco, your odds may increase.

Feel the boobs. You like boobs, right?

What it all comes down to though, is this is a numbers game. You're going to get rejected. A lot. Don't give a fuck about it. But that's why you keep complimenting girls on their cilantro in the produce aisle and eventually something breaks the right way.

Goddamn, I wish someone told me this shit before I went to college.

(P.S. Take it from me, a jewish person: "this makes me look like a jew" is not a goddamn fucking acceptable thing to say.)

PatBateman > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:13

I'm too old to be doling out advice on sex to a high schooler, so I'll simply say this:

There is no clear cut definition of a man. Watch Fight Club soon. Watch it three times in a row. Be your own form of Tyler Durden and be happy with yourself. The love life will come eventually.

Also, there isn't a 14 year old alive that vaguely understands the intricacies of any non-familial relationship of any kind.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:14

I've never had a girlfriend, so I can't help you there, but for the 14 year-old, just stick up to your morals, and even if you believe sex before marriage is okay, just remember you probably don't want the responsibility of a child before graduating from college, and settling down with a good job. As for burnout, see if you can take a long vacation, and if that won't work, take a day you have off, and just take a drive to a nearby lake or something, and don't bring anything with you, and leave your phone in the car so the only reason you would use it is for emergencies, and just sit, maybe fish a little, and empty your mind, and after doing that, you will probably feel a lot more refreshed.

Help with math, don't be afraid to ask your teachers for help, I used office hours all the time being in advanced math and it helped my grade immensely.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > TheStraightSixKid
07/01/2014 at 02:25

Exactly, My attitude is focus what you love the rest will come in due time

oldirtybootz > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:25

Full disclaimer, I'm pretty fucked up right now. Anyway...

I dealt with alot of rejection in high school. The fact that I was a virgin until 12th grade always bothered me and it's something that has haunted me since and ruined relationships for me. Don't ever let it bother you, it'll happen eventually. My problem was that I hung on to all that rejection and now I can't stay faithful, I always needed to feel wanted by girls because I never was. Then I get an amazing girlfriend and I'm still looking for that sexual attention from others, ans you can imagine how well that worked out for me.

As far as friends go, if they make fun of you they're not real friends. My friend group ia fucking awful. I'd probably be in such a better position in life now had I not started hanging with them. My best friend fucked my ex(of 3 years) just 2 weeks after we broke up and I juat found out yesterday, 2 months after it happened. And this whole time I've been single he's been fronting like we're boys. Friends don't mean shit, not friends who don't respect you anyway. They're just humans you happen to get along with, you never have to be stuck with them (unless you're physically stuck, obviously).

Not only that, but my friend group has never respected me. They make fun of my Legos, my Hot Wheels, the way I talk, walk, how I can't hook up with girls, etc. And after all these years of putting up with their shit I've finally decided I'm done with them. I don't need that toxicity in my life, I don't need to worry about friends betraying me or making fun of me. If they can't respect me or accept me for who I am then they can fuck themselves. Besides, if I keep hanging out with them I'll still be in this dump of a town in 10 years smoking weed and drinking beers with them and quite frankly I'm too smart to limit myself to being a fucking bum like them.

It's really hard to type when your eyes won't stay straight. Thank god for autocorrect.

I hope my drugged ramblings help somehoq

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > PatBateman
07/01/2014 at 02:26

and also if the 14 year old has had sex then something is wrong, no one should have sex that young

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:29

Just be glad your mom is not a licensed psychotherapist like me, the only good thing that comes out of that is you get to wear this shirt and have it have a whole nother meaning:

Kinja'd!!!

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:30

I've always told myself this: you've got so many responsibilities at present. You need to look for a job. You need to study. You need to look after your car. Are you really prepared to take on a whole load of other responsibilities by getting yourself a girl?

And what have you got to prove by being in a relationship at this stage k life? Is it really that important to have someone else in your life? I never thought so. Here's a little story.

I was once in a relationship. We were both from completely different circumstances. We liked each other, but our surroundings were completely different. I had a stable education, he was working at a convenience store. It wasn't easy to get in contact with each other either - there was only one bus that could take us to see each other and at 16 and him 17, neither of us could get driving licenses so no cars. I had to focus on study and my exams, he had to focus on providing for himself and his family. It was hard to maintain contact and enjoy each other's presence due to our conflicting schedules. So inevitably, we didn't work out.

But the experience made me realise this: unless you've sorted yourself out, don't go start looking for someone and eventually having to sort them out too, especially if they need to get themselves together as well. Relationships are things you have to devote time to - making it public and then failing at maintaining it will result in embarrassment and unhappiness. Focus on what you've got now and worry about relationships later, because having someone else in your life to care about means more responsibilities that maybe you just can't handle.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:35

I actually have that shirt

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 02:52

I laugh everytime I wear it, Because the sentiment is true. My mom did have me tested and I'm not crazy. Shes qualified to do it herself but It would be a conflict of interest to do so.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 03:03

I feel you man. I'm in the same boat as you., except one that's in annoyingly calm water. I haven't even ever been in a relationship.

jkm7680 > thebigbossyboss
07/01/2014 at 07:23

Couldn't have said it better! That's excellent advice for anyone in HS.

macanamera > PatBateman
07/01/2014 at 07:25

You do realize how disastrous this advice could be if taken too literally lol...

macanamera > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 07:48

I'm going to give you different advice than most of the people here. While it's okay to say "oh I have a lot on my plate that I need to focus on", in my opinion that isn't a good reason to not be happy at the moment, to not get the things that you (and all humans) need. You might find that if you do, you will be happier, and also better at accomplishing what you want out of life.

Try reading this:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_…

^^^this is is no way concrete or even accepted to be true. I just want you to see an old theory, see how some people think. Basically, you have to work your way up the pyramid. Without the foundation, you it's hard to get to the top. If you take care of your basic needs, you set yourself up to take care of your more advanced ones.

Honestly, I think this is going to take some work on your part. You need to try to develop your (perceived) shortcomings. Basically, what I'm saying is, don't try to look in the mirror and feel better about yourself. Instead, go put yourself out there. Talk to more girls. Be outgoing. You might find that that as a result of doing this, you no longer think your nose is big or glasses ugly.

Also, I personally believe that if I (or someone else) tutored you in math, you could get 100% on every math test you took. There is nobody that can't score highly in math. Maybe some people aren't cut out for differential equations, but high school and basic college math can be aced by anyone. Once you "learn how to learn" it, you won't have any trouble with it.

I need to get to work now, but if any of my pre-coffee ramblings are unclear (which I am sure is the case) ask me to clarify or expand on it, and I gladly will.

BJ > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 08:03

You can just be friends with members of the opposite sex, and Logansteno is right - tell everyone else to fuck off, 'cause it's none of their business who you are or are not fucking, or why you are or are not fucking, unless you choose to tell them about it.

You're a busy guy, you said it yourself, so tell your friends that you don't have time to chase tail if you want to be successful at school and realise your dreams.

(Just don't forget to have some fun, too!)

Camry-Into-Canyon > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 08:49

Without a girlfriend, you have an empty wallet and one hell of a car. With a girlfriend, you have an empty wallet and a smart fortwo because your gf didn't like the Buick and though the fortwo was "cute."

StoneCold > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 09:28

There is so much good stuff posted here

PatBateman > macanamera
07/01/2014 at 09:47

Hopefully he doesn't actually start a fight club or do that thing that they did to those places with the smaller things at the end of the movie.

PatBateman > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
07/01/2014 at 09:48

That is a bit troubling.

Jayhawk Jake > thebigbossyboss
07/01/2014 at 09:51

^This guy. High school only matters when you are in high school, and even then it's just a 4 year period to get out of the way. You're not going to give a crap about it in a few years, nor should you.

Take care of yourself first, your education, your hobbies, your future career. Let the rest come in time.

Of course I'm single and about to be 25, so my relationship advice should be taken with a grain of salt. I had a pretty serious relationship at the end of college, and that ended in a disaster (she was living with me, I went out of town for a weekend and came home to an empty house. Yeah....that happened). After driving a Corvette I told a few friends I'd rather have a Corvette than a wife. I stand by that statement.

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 10:10

Just stop giving a shit.

That's easier to say than do, but just focus on the stuff you enjoy. Find other ways to participate in the stuff you like. As an example, I like airplanes, so I started giving tours at the air museum. I love doing that now, it's awesome. Then for my once passing interest in cars I started going to more car shows, autocrossing, hanging out with you lot, etc.

I've been where you are, but there's no reason to stay where you are. Get a good job, go to school and study something. If engineering doesn't work it don't fret, it doesn't work out for a lot of people. Find something else you enjoy and pursue that. Don't get hung up on virginity, society is weird and stupid about that. Sex is not that big of a deal, seriously. Relationships, in my experience, are just a lot of work if you try to force them, so just don't. Go with the flow

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 10:11

It's rare, but it happens. One of my best friends, and the only person I still talk to from high school, is a girl, and we are just friends. She's like a sister to me, and I mean that. Some of my friends give me shit because she's really attractive, but she's just my friend. There's nothing wrong with that.

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 10:14

When you start enrolling talk to an advisor and express your concerns. The worst thing you can do is pretend that you don't need help with it. I knew a couple people freshman year who would not admit they weren't doing well with class, and they failed out quickly. If you admit you need some extra help, you can get that help and do fine. Your advisor should at least know where to point you to find a tutor or what classes to take to improve your math skills.

I almost failed Algebra II in high school. I'm a fucking rocket scientist now, so there's no reason to think that just because you have trouble with it now you'll always have trouble.

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 10:15

Have you talked to a doctor about ADHD? I have it, I haven't taken medication for it in a long time but I actually just got a prescription to try again.

I took Concerta in high school and briefly in college, it helped a lot with distractions.

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 10:18

Why aren't you living in dorms?

Man, dorm life was awesome.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist)
07/01/2014 at 11:00

Yeah, what's annoying is I have so many friends that are perfectly happy being on their own but I feel a crushing loneliness when I'm single. I think it stems from the fact my first stroke (I'm prone to chemically-induced strokes that aren't actually blood clots) I was home alone and 12 years old, and now my worst fear is being alone, much less dying alone. When you don't know what a stroke is and half your body goes numb and stupid and nobody's around to tell you what's going on, that kinda messes with you. Fortunately I still had my right hand and was able to worm my way up to a chair and google it while it was happening. It's an amusing anecdote "I had a stroke but didn't know what that was so I used my right hand to Google it"

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > macanamera
07/01/2014 at 11:04

That pyramid is fascinating. Interesting theory, and how it makes intimacy, self-image, and self-esteem a lot more important than some people think they are. The problem with being homeschooled most of my life is I have no idea how to socialize. I have a group of maybe 4 or 5 friends and absolutely no idea where to go to meet new people, and even if I was to go to such a place I'd just get paralytically nervous (is that even a phrase?) and probably end up talking some poor sap's ear off about reflashing PCMs or installing Linux on a netbook from 2008 because damn, they're showing interest there's no way they're just being polite!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Camry-Into-Canyon
07/01/2014 at 11:06

I dunno. My Buick has been the object of a great many compliments every time one of my friends girlfriends gets in it "wow the suspension is so soft" "wow it's fast" "wow the red lighting is awesome" so I doubt I'd have issues there :P

You're right about expensive, though. A female friend of mine that's dating my dopelgaanger is an incredibly cheap girlfriend, and hates going out on "dates" and would rather just cook for her boyfriend, watch Netflix, and have sex. I am indescribably jealous of their relationship.

macanamera > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 11:08

Are you 21?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jayhawk Jake
07/01/2014 at 11:11

It's not really the virginity thing that gets me so much as the lack-of-relationship thing. I'm super clingy and have a constant craving for any kind of social contact with someone I know likes me, or at least have been deluded into thinking likes me. I've been distracting myself, mostly successfully, by working on my car and computers and got lucky with bitcoin and made a couple hundred bucks, but all it took were some poorly-worded jokes by my friends and that all crashed down. Not sure what the word is for it, but I'm one of the people who constantly wants to be at a party or hanging out with people or on a date, but when I'm actually there I either hate it and want to leave, or get incredibly nervous and overanalyze stuff to ridiculous proportions.

"oh wow she seemed surprised when I opened the door for her brownie points for me I wonder if I'll get lucky boy that would be weird" (my internal monologue is run on sentences)

"there's no way she's this nice obviously she's bored and just humoring me oh god what did I do wrong this time"

"she's looking at that guy cleaning tables oh god she thinks he's more attractive shit shit shit shit"

The only off switch for this bullshit I've found was when I was on morphene in the hospital, but for obvious reasons that isn't a solution. Though the morphene was really weird, because my head was totally clear from any internal naggling voices.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jayhawk Jake
07/01/2014 at 11:15

The family doctor is an alternative medicine type (basically herbs mixed in alcohol to preserve them, and I've been taking them for 13 years so I have a helluva alcohol resistance now) who doesn't believe ADHD is a real disorder. Some of his weird shit works even though it seems like complete voodoo (kinesiology), but sometimes I wonder what a traditional doctor would say about me.

Other than that nurse that told me I had nice abs.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Jayhawk Jake
07/01/2014 at 11:17

Dad is convinced that my grades will suffer if I'm in a dorm, that I'll be constantly distracted, blah blah blah, probably kill myself from partying or some shit, I won't like my roommate, etc. etc.

It's especially annoying because there are BRAND NEW DORMS built for my class, and they're super-nice.

And he's paying for my college since I can't get a decent job (though I have an interview coming up for a really well-paying job, though the company is kinda fucking with me) and pay for it myself, as well as paying my car insurance and gas so I'm at his mercy until I can make at least $20k a year which is what I've calculated I'll need to be able to support myself.

quarterlifecrisis > Jayhawk Jake
07/01/2014 at 11:41

Meh, I think I'd take the wife instead of the Corvette. At least the wife would maybe pay the cable bill or something. Corvette just begs for gas.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > macanamera
07/01/2014 at 11:42

Dear lord I wish

ThePenguin > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 11:55

The girl I like rejected me and started going out with my best friend. Adding to thatv letdown, my grades sucked because I was being a high schooler and shit. I started fighting with my parents all day and night. Later I found out that my friend and the girl I looked has been banging pretty much whenever they were alone. I failed the last six weeks of high school in 3 classes all of which I liked. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I tried running away only to be caught by cops and sent by my parents to a psychological hospital. While I was completely furious and depressed, they were able to help and now even though I still haven't had any girl luck, I am much more ok with it. I finished therapy earlier this year and that while situation happened only last summer. I feel like you should talk to a doctor or psychologist. They could really help. I know it helped me a lot. Don't be worried about stereotypes also. They're all stereotypes and 100% of all people go through this same thing. It's up to you to follow the advice of some random guy on the internet but I think it will really help you get more confident.

macanamera > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 11:59

I was only asking because bars can be a great place to meet people and develop social skills. That being said, they are far from the only place. Just go places where there are people, and strike up conversation whenever possible. Who cares if you come off weird? Try, try again. Eventually, you will develop a sense of what works and what doesn't. It's just gonna take a little dedication.

Don't get hopeless, and don't forget: There is a key for every lock.

Jayhawk Jake > quarterlifecrisis
07/01/2014 at 12:23

She'd only pay for the cable bill after you buy her jewelry

Jayhawk Jake > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
07/01/2014 at 12:24

I dont think your grades would suffer in the dorms, people have homework to do and you'll have classmates to work with/study with

quarterlifecrisis > Jayhawk Jake
07/01/2014 at 12:33

Perhaps. The car is only so much fun though.